What to do when children hit?
These days, I am finding more and more children on my caseload who are having challenges with personal space (more so, they hit others and that happens often). I’ve been an OT for almost 10 years, and this year more than ever I am finding significant challenges in this area. I specialize in self-regulation and address this area often, but I have been finding the children are more comfortable with hitting (and we can sometimes allow it). A lot of things that may have worked in the past don’t necessarily work for these kids and it makes me wonder why.
What to do:
Teach them language. Practice language to communicate the want/need.
Give them tools to manage their feelings and express themselves.
Practice games & activities to build frustration tolerance.
Turn-taking with peers.
Do not (unintentionally) reward the behavior (if they hit or are physical with a peer to play with a toy car, do not let them play with that car) or by having consistent big reactions. We get more of what we focus on - wanted or unwanted!
Teach them what is and isn’t ok.
It is ok to feel x, y, z. It isn’t ok to hit or physically harm others
It is ok to be frustrated you can’t have __, it is not ok to do __ because of it.
Give them opportunities to safely express their frustration (e.g., hitting pillows, throwing stuffed animals in a safe environment).
Give them more opportunities for autonomy when possible throughout the day.
The more we give choices and autonomy when they are regulated, the easier the dysregulated moments can be.
* This also goes with language too, when children have challenging experiences and then use harmful or hurtful language towards others. Teach them what is and isn’t ok.
It’s more about teaching them to be with their uncomfortable feelings and learn from them.
One of the biggest ways we do that is we have to sit with and be ok with our own big feelings.
Refer to this PDF link for a resource to help teach this to children!! I will be using this in my sessions :)
It’s always helpful to introduce a learning concept or activity when they are in a more-regulated, calm state.