Focus on what you WANT to see!!

One of my favorite and most effective strategies when working with children is focusing on what I want to see (rather than the behavior or challenge that may be in front of me).

I discovered the effectiveness of this strategy throughout many years of working with children with extreme sensory processing and/or self-regulatory challenges. I also spent many years working with children who had medically complex presentations. I always wondered, “What is the best way for me to show up for this child? How can I best focus in this experience so that everyone may benefit?” 

As I considered these questions and continued with current best-practices in my sessions, I found that how I was showing up was more effective than exactly what I was doing in the session. 

What I like to do (or try to do as this can be challenging at times!!!) is to focus on the behavior or end-result of what I would like to see. Oftentimes, I usually try and picture a happy, thriving child. This alone can move mountains!

Some of the best situations I find for using this strategy is when you’re interacting with a child who may have challenging behaviors. There can be so much momentum behind those experiences and often we enter the situations almost expecting the challenging behavior (even if we don’t recognize it!). 

A great way to practice this strategy is to get out ahead of it and practice this before you’re having the interaction with the child (or person - this works for adults too!). You can think about beforehand how you really want the child to be, what version of them do you want to see? Do you want easier interactions? Do you want less resistance and more flexibility? Do you want more ease with transitions? More social interactions that are flexible and kind in nature? Play around with these ideas and practice showing up in the next or future situations focusing on this version of the child - it can work wonders when applied consistently but does take focus and practice!